Economic Crisis... Look to the Stars.

So a lot of people are starting to worry about this gigantic stimulus package. Not just about when it will start working, but how are we going to pay for it. The short answer is future tax increases. This means that later in life you or the next generation will have to deal with this. It's almost like the government is handing us a giant credit card and saying "don't worry you can pay this off later... with interest." But what if we could pay it off now?

Here is a great way how... It's time to use our one remaining resource. Many notable (& wealthy) celebrities supported the ideas of hope and change during the campaign of our new leader. Now they can put their money (or rather the money we pay them) where their mouths are! While we are at it, let's start at the top!

J.K. Rowling- although she is a Brit, she has made a large portion of her money from Americans kids... and unfortunately some adults. She tops the list at a massive $300 Million a year! Maybe she could take less than half of that (a meager $140 Million) and donate to our cause...?

Oprah- although J.K. Rowling does make more than her, she is at the top of the American list with a wopping $275 Million a year. I'm sure she could donate some to the cause of her favorite politician... let's say $125 Million?

50 Cent- he has come a long way and would improve his image even more by bailing out the economy. He rakes in about $150 Million each year, maybe he could donate $45 Million to the cause? Think of all the publicity, think of all the little white suburban kids who will love you even more!

Jerry Bruckheimer- the famous producer of big-budget movies and tv crime dramas pulls down about $145 Million a year. I'm sure he could donate $40 Million and maybe he could get the movie rights?

Steven Spielberg- even though the latest Indiana Jones movie was pretty awful, the man still makes about $130 Million each year. Think of the blockbuster that he and Bruckheimer could make if they teamed up... "Economic Meltdown" the movie. We'll take $30 Million from him.

Tyler Perry- this guy makes about $125 Million a year from movies and television. That's enough to make me dress up like an old lady and try to act as well. I think even Madea could part with $25 Million to help us all out.

Tiger Woods- come on! You hit a little ball in a hole with a stick and still make over $115 Million a year! He could probably part with $15 Million of that to help us all out.

The Police- okay we all know that Sting has got to be making more than the other two guys... what were their names? Combined they post at about $115 Million each year, and they would be happy to part with $15 Million of that I'm sure. Come on just write a new hit and you'll make it back. Can you?

Jerry Seinfeld- the funny man pulls in the laughs and about $85 Million a year. There is some great material waiting for you in this mess we are in, but you need to pay first. Let's say $10 Million?

Jay-Z- from street hustler to bona-fide, this guy has made it... and made it big! He comes in the list at about $82 Million a year. Plus, he gets to spend his evenings with Beyonce... so he could probably kick in about $10 Million.

Beyonce Knowles- speaking of her, she is right behind her new husband with a cool $80 Million a year. I know that someone that pretty has to do a lot of upkeep, but I am sure she could spare $10 Million.

Will Smith- the fresh prince of America takes his spot on the list at $80 Million a year. If he kicked in $10 Million to help out he would barely have to lift a finger to get it back. Just don't put out another rap album...

Johnny Depp- creepy Johnny seems to excel at roles where other actors would not know what to do. And he gets paid well for his skill, about $72 Million a year. If he donated $8 Million to the cause, it would be helpful. Come on, just dress up like a pirate again and you'll make that up.

Simon Cowell- i'm not really sure if this Brit even lives in the U.S., but he has enough money to live wherever he wants. Mr. Mean comes in at about $72 Million a year. He has been breaking hearts and annoying the public for quite awhile now, if he donates $8 Million we can just call it an asshole tax.

Howard Stern- speaking of assholes, this one makes about $70 Million a year. Maybe he could soften up his image and donate $8 Million to the cause.. or do it anonymously, I don't care.

David Beckham- this Brit brings in about $50 Million each year, and gets to sleep with the weird but hot spice girl... well I only assume they sleep together. Since he works here, maybe he could "kick"-in $5 Million and if he wants to help bailout Great Britain as well all the better.

$489 Million so far!

Cameron Diaz- the always gleaming actress makes around $50 Million a year, that is a hell of a smile! Maybe she could donate $5 Million of it to a really good cause... saving our asses!

George Lucas- with the latest Star Wars & Indiana Jones movies pretty much sucking... the man still rakes in about $50 Million a year. It might improve your fan base to give up $5 Million of it, but nothing will improve crappy CGI.

James Patterson- the hardworking author finds time to produce two books a year for his fans when others can't even produce one! No wonder he pulls down about $50 Million a year... we would like $5 Million, please.

David Letterman- despite working to get his people back to work faster than most during the tv strikes and his production company owning the rights to several other shows... this nighttime star still finds himself with the hours to do the Late Show and rake in about $45 Million a year. Not bad Dave, can we have $4 Million?

Michael Jordan- washed up basketball player... more like wise investment superstar. The guy hasn't played in years but brings in more money now than most of the NBA, a nice $45 Million each year! And we would love the king of air even more if he donated $4 Million of it.

Phil Mickelson- the world's second ranked golfer makes about $45 Million a year... I guess it is good to be almost king? Now fork over $4 Million.

Stephen King- speaking of Kings... this one-time school teacher turned prolific horror writer shocks the world into letting him make about $45 Million each year as well! The only thing that would be scarier than his books would be us paying off this stimulus package! $4 Million please.

Judge Judy Sheindlin- this tough talking lady brings in about $45 Million each year herself. It makes sense too, I mean would you want to negotiate with her? May we please have $4 Million, ma'am?

Leonardo DiCaprio- this guy has grown into a fairly good actor and is paid well for his dramas... about $45 Million a year. If he gave us $4 Million of that I might even "feel like I'm flying..."


$528 Million so far!


To be continued...

Comics, Why I Love & Hate Them

Over the last few months I have been following the Marvel Comics “Civil War” saga. Yes, it is true I have always loved comics… and after a few years of not collecting, this series really got me back into them. Comics have always been a form of social commentary, but over the years they lost a lot of that and became far out stories about unbelievable things. This series, on the other hand has gone back to the discussion of what is going on currently in our world. (See also: Red Menace series, Nightly News series, & even somewhat the DC comics series Kingdom Come & 52).

Another thing this series has done is awakened a love for a character I always thought was a boy scout at best, Captain America. I don’t think I can reveal anything specific about the series here, but I have greatly enjoyed his struggle with an America that no longer wants the ideals he (and others) fought so hard for.

This series reflects the current political climate in modern America very well. Particularly, in the area of civil liberties and personal freedom. Today, due to violence, terrorism, & many other things it seems the majority of people are more concerned with being protected than having rights. Part of me really understands that. Having a wife, family, friends, & dog that I love; I can see why people want to protect what they have… But, the other part of me wonders how far we are willing to go to have protection? Truthfully, my answer would be “Not very far at all.” I know a lot of people would say that I am not a patriot for that… but I disagree (see my entry: Patriot or Not?). You see, it is my firm belief that when we react to one idea in such a fashion (from one extreme) we usually end up going too far the other way (to the other extreme).

I am not saying that I can predict the future, but just that I have read a lot of history and here is what I have come up with. Rome, Greece, & the British Empire have all fallen (to some extent) in the past from being “glorious” kingdoms. Why should we as Americans think that we are any different? History does repeat itself, and just because the U.S. is the “ruling kingdom” now, does not mean it will be around forever. My point with this is that I could truly see our government making the same mistakes that so many have made in the past. Cracking down with an iron fist when the kingdom starts to crumble… it has happened in the past and will happen again.

So you may ask, “then what do you want, chaos?” No, anarchy is not a good idea… people running around doing whatever the hell they want is obviously not good. But, I also don’t want anything like what our government is moving toward. A literature reference like “Big Brother” or “The Party” might be overused, but what about something from history like the “National Socialists”? It scares me to think of what we, as human beings are capable of. Don’t worry, I am not advocating overthrowing any government, I just think it would be best if we the people of this country studied our history a bit more. All of this, just because of comics, sheesh!

Oh, and just incase my overactive imagination is right… if I wind up dead for any reason, this article is probably why. hahaha